The Best Christmas Gift
I have been married for nearly four years with my lovely wife Marisu. We have recently moved to an apartment and have more responsibilities and are living a real married life.
One morning, two months after moving in, Marisu came up to me with an envelope. I was intrigued but every now and then she gives me gifts. I smiled and received the envelope but this time she looked more excited than usual. I opened the envelope not knowing that what was inside was going to change my life.
At first I didn’t understand because I saw a rectangular carton shaped strip which I inspected quickly. I saw 2 small lines and suddenly I realized what was happening. I was completely surprised and did not stop saying it can’t be true. I was going to be a father.
A couple of years ago we talked about having a baby. We decided to wait until we had more money and also because we wanted to enjoy time together as a couple. In that time, the idea of having a baby was something that I tried to avoid thinking about. In fact, I did not want to have a baby. I felt I was not prepared and that if I was to have a child he or she would need to have the best there is. My wife did not think the same way I did and she has always dreamed of having a baby. She felt that we had the most important things already and was sad to hear what I was thinking.
As time went by things started to change. Our marriage grew stronger and I felt different around children. I have always wanted a family but I was scared of responsibility and pain. The truth is that I am afraid of loving because that love can eventually turn into some kind of pain. What if the baby gets sick? What if we don’t have enough money? What if this and what if that. However, with that mindset, I wouldn’t live a happy life. One can’t be thinking of suffering and pain because in that way happiness and joy will never come. There is nothing more precious than imagining creating life with the woman I love. I knew that it was not going to be easy but I have changed. I wanted to be a father and have a baby
But one thing is imagining having a baby and another is receiving the news that you are going to have one. Marisu expected me to cry and get very happy but my reaction was of unbelief and fear. We were going to start trying in 2011 and this was a big surprise. I was overwhelmed with many feelings and started to panic inside crunching numbers imaging all the expenses and the needs for the baby. Clinic bills, milk, diapers, clothes, food, and much MORE!!!!
After getting a good night sleep I got up with a different feeling. I was excited and realized that it was the best thing that could ever happen to us. I hugged my wife and talked to my baby expressing how much we loved him or her. The following weeks were just amazing. We got the first pictures form our baby and heard his heartbeats. The feeling was simply something indescribable and we are so happy.
This is one of the reasons I haven’t been posting to my blog. We have been very busy with this blessing. It has been the best Christmas gift ever!